The following is an excerpt from my new book coming out soon called Unveiled: The Secret Submissive Within. I hope you enjoy.
In #BDSM, a #contract is an #agreement, usually written, between the Dominant and submissive in a 24/7 relationship, but also in between those that are in training only or have regular play dates. It is the formal act of consent to the power exchange. Some are very formal and will detail exactly what is expected and can run for multiple pages. Others are as brief as a single paragraph. Either way, one is derived by negotiation on the part of both parties. BDSM couples consider the contract to hold equal moral authority to a marriage commitment. As such, constructing a proper contract is very much like writing a pre-nuptial agreement.
Here are some things you need to know before signing such a contract:
A slave contract is a non-legal document.
Although the contract is meaningful to the #Dominant and his #submissive, such a contract is not legally binding due to the fact that it is actually illegal to own another person and most slave contracts mention the word ownership in describing the relationship.
A slave contract is drawn up by the Dominant and presented to his submissive to sign.
Sometimes a Dominant will allow his submissive to read the contract ahead of time and ask if she has any input or something she would like to include in the contract. If she does and the Dominant agrees, he will likely add it into the contract.
Length of commitment varies.
Slave contracts vary in regard to the length of commitment pledged. Whereas some Dominants may require a submissive to sign a lifetime agreement, other Dominants may ask for a 6 month or a year- long #commitment. At the end of that time period, the submissive will have the choice to sign a renewal contract or to opt out of the relationship.
A slave contract signifies ownership.
Although the contract is not legally binding, it signifies a degree of ownership. Sometimes the ownership may be limited to sexual #ownership. Sometimes it may mean complete ownership. This will depend on the couple and their preferences. It is very binding within the confines of the relationship and should not be entered into lightly.
Things to include in a slave contract.
A slave contract will include things such as expectations, goals, rewards, punishments, #protocols, #rituals, and grounds for termination of the contract. Be sure and review the contract carefully, for what is in it will indicate the course of your relationship. Just as a couple who enters into marriage, you must have similar goals and expectations in regard to the relationship. Signing the contract means that you are agreeing to everything in it.
Don't be afraid to ask questions.
It is important to feel free to ask questions of one another before signing the contract. Submissives need to voice any fears or hesitations to the Dominant, and he needs to be open enough to listen to those fears and hesitations. If he is not open to hearing them, this should be the submissive's first clue to run in the opposite #direction. It is also important for a Dominant to voice any concerns he may have to his submissive. If he senses any doubt or hesitation, it is important for him to ask her about it, encouraging her to be open and honest with him.
Do not rush into signing a contract.
A contract is not meant to be an agreement between casual play #partners. It is meant to signify a willingness to commit to the relationship for a certain amount of time. Take your time in getting to know one another before making the decision to make such a commitment.
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