BDSMUNVEILED Q&A: LDR Miscommunication and FemDoms for Hire

I haven’t done a Q&A post for a while but have finally gathered what I think are unique and interesting enough topics to share and hopefully further expand your own BDSM knowledge.

Question #1) “Hello, I am in #long #distance D/s #relationship. Recently I re-asked a question to my Master. This made him upset. I tried to explain things, it didn't go so well. Now I will be punished, painfully, for something that may or may not be medical. I am very upset with this, to the point I want to end the relationship. I am planning on going to the doctor to find a reason for my head aches and loss of memory. In the meantime, What should I do? Any and all advise is welcome. Outside of this one misunderstanding, he truly is a wonderful man.”

Use your #safeword and do not take #punishment for anything not warranted. #BDSM is #Consensual from both partners, not just the #Dominant. If he can not understand the significance of your illness and isn’t sensitive to your needs, he’s not being a good Dominant. If he punishes you for feeling bad, he’s abusing his power.

Sit him down in a peer to peer talk. Take the BDSM dynamic out of it all together until you get him to understand your health concerns. If he continues to dismiss them, I would definitely reevaluate staying with the relationship.

Question #2) “Why do #Dommes/#FemDoms always ask for money or free stuff? I am a submissive male looking for a #Female #Dominant to be in a dynamic with. Every female that has talked to me asks me for money or to send them a gift from some wish list they have even before I get to know them. When I ask why, they immediately block me without further explanation, tell me I’m not a real sub because I’m asking questions, or say it’s to prove my loyalty and that I’m worth their time and attention. While I don’t mind spending time and money on my partner, I refuse to pay for services like I’m hiring a hooker. Are there dominant women left that want a loving D/s dynamic with a male sub?”

Many of the ones asking for money are actually either FemDoms for hire or #hookers. Some are people posing as female dominants and they are just people who are trying to live off money and donations from the submissives they connect with from the Internet. Be careful and don’t give money out to anybody unless you are 100% sure you want to. You should never feel coerced or obligated to buy attention.

If you’re looking for an actual relationship, try some of the BDSM specific dating apps or websites that are dedicated to the lifestyle. Don’t give out any #personal #information until after you are secure it’s someone that you may want to pursue a relationship with. Of course, it will take time to get to know a person online, so be patient.

While real female Dominants may ask for presents, they will never force the issue or make you feel bad if you can’t, or don’t want to, buy them things. They are in the relationship for the relationship itself. You will know soon enough after talking and interacting with prospective Dommes if they are serious or not.