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Writer's pictureMichelle Fegatofi

Do You Have a Submissive Mind?


In your exploration to further your knowledge of BDSM or D/s, you may have come across the terms submissive mind or mindset.


There are many varying definitions for this. Some believe that their minds are always in a #submissive place. Others believe that rituals are what transition them into becoming submissive in their thoughts.


To me, a "submissive mind or #mindset" is that place inside a person in which they always submit to another, maybe only one special person, but are always submissive to him/her. No matter what I am doing, when blogging, working on a new book, answering or interacting with my readers, or just normal housework, I am always submissive to my #Dominant, Padrone Marco. His values, thoughts, guidance, and needs are always incorporated to everything I do.


It is not something that I force or have to set my mind to. It just comes from within. It is a natural thing for me to want to make #Padrone happy and proud. It makes me happy to serve him, follow his guidance, ask for direction when I am unsure of how to proceed in something, and just to submit to his will in whatever I am doing.


There is a common thought among those that do not truly understand the #dynamics of true submission. Outsiders think submissives are doormats. Now, do not take my #submission to Padrone as making me weak. Being submissive does not mean a person is weak. It means I chose to submit to him because of the bond, love and trust we share.


Here is the biggest factor in the mindset of a submissive. It is my experience that a true sub/#slave has a natural focus that is centered on others. This is something that comes natural to him or her. Compare this with the common self-centered focus. One who attempts to serve while being self focused is going to have issues.


True submissives thrive on intense, intimate, emotionally-open relationships. When serving, submitting, or performing tasks, they are most at ease and happiest. A submissive in this mindset is usually playful, confident, willing and wanting to help others achieve that same state, and always naturally working towards making her Dominant happy.


A submissive knows herself; every strength, every fault and failing. She is her own worst critic. And yet, this self-knowledge makes her strong. She is able to give more than most women. She is open and vulnerable in a way that most can never comprehend. But this is her freedom.


So, whether you have to switch from vanilla independent to being in a submissive mindset using a ritual, it comes naturally to you, or you have a combination of the two, remember one thing: As long as you are happy, and you are doing what makes you proud, having a submissive mind will lead you to that freedom only true submissives feel. 


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