If you are exploring BDSM on the Internet, chances are at some point, you will be drawn into the world of message boards, chat rooms, and online D/s. Online D/s is perhaps one of the most controversial subjects in the Dominance and submission community.
As in any vanilla relationship, a cyber BDSM LDR requires commitment, honesty and time from all participants. It requires an active imagination and a bit of extra work to keep the power exchange that a BDSM relationship requires, in place. The Dominant can maintain that feeling of submission in his submissive using daily rituals, rules and by assigning tasks.
The submissive can do their part to keep the power exchange healthy through dedication and obedience. Imagination, creativity and attention become extremely important here. A dominant who neglects the submissive because they are LDR, will soon find himself without a submissive. The same goes for the submissive.
Why choose a BDSM LDR? Many of enter online relationships because they are in a community with a small to no D/s presence. Others do so because they are in real life relationships with a vanilla partner that has no inclination of wanting to explore BDSM in any shape or form. As long as the Dominant or submissive is fully honest with all of their partners, these types of relationships can be quite successful. Some use an online D/s relationship to learn more about Dominance and submission, to see if it’s something that they may be interested in for a real time experience.
A cyber relationship, in my experience, can indeed be very real. I base this on personal experience as well as knowledge of other people in relationships of that nature. The mind is the largest sexual organ in humans. Cyber interactions deal directly with the mind. Because of this, one can create a mental and emotional bond much faster online.
It also offers a sense of anonymity that allows people to open up faster and deeper than they would in a face to face conversation. This enhances the feeling of emotional closeness to the person you are interacting with and strengthens the mental bond. This bond is very real to the one who feels it. A relationship is highly individual. Being yourself and not creating all of these fake worlds and backgrounds is an absolute necessity to make a cyber BDSM LDR work. If you have little or no experience in parts of BDSM in reality, then it is most difficult to discuss how you might react to something.
This should be made known to your partner. By hiding your lack of experience, you set yourself and your partner up for some serious hurt. It is easy to get lost in the fantasy part of cyber BDSM. It is also dangerous to believe that everything that happens during cyber sex or scenes, are an exact replica of what would happen in real life. Just because you kneel in cyber, does not mean you can do it in reality. Or just because you can type that you flogged someone, doesn't mean you have the experience or knowledge to actually do so in real life.
It is important to keep the fantasy part of cyber interactions separated from the reality part.
With a little effort and lots of honesty and commitment and cyber BDSM relationship can be rewarding and enjoyable for those involved. Keep it real and those rewards and enjoyment become even greater.
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